


Eyema Cuetainjel

by katychan666



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Inspired by Tumblr prompt and fanart, M/M, Prank Calls, ineffable husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 14:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20065705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Crowley prank calls Aziraphale's bookshop using a very ridiculous accent and an even more ridiculous undercover name.





	Eyema Cuetainjel

**Author's Note:**

> Fic based on an original prompt by @azirasphales and @in3ffable-husbands I saw on Tumblr - Crowley prank calling Aziraphale’s bookshop :). I just found it so cute and couldn’t resist writing this short piece, I hope you like it.  
And the end was inspired by @konnyart’s fanart :)  
Also, I'd like to thank my lovely soulmate Shiorino for helping me out!

It was a pretty boring day at Aziraphale’s bookshop - not many customers, so he had all the time in the world to sit down, sip some of his favourite tea and just enjoy a nice afternoon in the company of books, reading and getting himself lost in the world of adventures and mysteries, a little smile spreading across the angel’s lips as he continued reading, turning the pages and just enjoying the silence.

No Crowley to disturb his peace.

No customers.

Just Aziraphale and the books -  _ ah.  _ It truly was the perfect, peaceful afternoon. That was, however until the phone started ringing and Aziraphale looked at it.  _ Really?!  _ But he was just getting to the good part of the book (which he already read, but it was one of his favourites, so he loved reaching for it over and over again), but in the end he just stood up and dragged himself over to the phone and took in a deep breath. After all, he was an angel, he was there to assist the humans and offer them help!

‘’A.Z. Fell and Company, how may I help you?’’ asked Aziraphale softly, reaching for his book, miracling it closer to himself and then he narrowed his eyes, because all he got from the other side was  _ silence,  _ followed by a  _ giggle _ and he exhaled. ‘’Hello?’’ he asked again and he clicked with his tongue. He wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with-

‘’Yes, hello, hello,’’ said a high pitched voice and Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, because he could swear that the person was holding back their laughter and he bit into his lower lip -  _ he had to remain calm.  _ ‘’I’m calling because I want to buy a book, you see,’’ said the other person and Aziraphale arched an eyebrow.

‘’Ah, yes, of course,’’ said Aziraphale and rolled his eyes. ‘’You called the right place, I hope I’ll be able to help you out,’’ he said and then huffed. There was also that ridiculous accent that he really didn’t know where to place, but it sounded fake, forced and- ‘’Just tell me the title and I’ll see if we have it in stock.’’

‘’Oh,  _ gosh,  _ I don’t know,’’ said the customer and Aziraphale rolled his eyes again. So it was one of  _ those  _ customers, who just thought that he was able to read their minds over a phone call to give them recommendation for what book to pick out for them - that kind of customers were his last favourite! ‘’An old book,’ said the other and Aziraphale started massaging his temples. ’

‘’Old book,’’ repeated Aziraphale and looked around his bookshop. All he sold (or more accurately in all his powers tried  _ not _ to sell - the books were his precious and it always hurt seeing one of them find a new home - then again he’d go check up on the books he sold every now and then to see how they were doing!) were old, antique books, so this was clearly a joke! ‘’I’ll need more than that."

‘’It has pages, you see,’’ said the ridiculous voice and Aziraphale rolled his eyes, but tried  _ not _ to, because he was, again, an angel and angels shouldn’t be rolling eyes at other people. ‘’Many of them and also..  _ letters!’’ _ said the other, Aziraphale groaning internally, because this was one of the most annoying customers he had to deal with all the years ‘’working’’ there. ‘’It also has a cover… with  _ more _ letters,’’ said the other one and Aziraphale gave the phone a death glare and he clicked with his tongue.

‘’You’ve literally described to me what a book looks like,’’ said Aziraphale and heard more giggles. This one was there only to ruin his perfect peaceful evening, wasn’t he? How dared he? ‘’On what topic is this…  _ book _ you’re looking for?’’ asked Aziraphale painfully slowly and the other started humming.

‘’Gardening,’’ he finally said and Aziraphale wrote it down. Okay, he got a few of them among the gardening theme and he then pressed his lips together.

‘’Very well, I do have a few books on gardening,’’ said the angel and then heard a sigh coming from the other side.

‘’Oh,  _ bless _ you, good sir,’’ said the other and Aziraphale rolled his eyes as there was more giggling.

‘’Your first and last name…  _ sir?’’ _ asked Aziraphale, because he needed to know who was going to be picking up the books and it was at that moment that he heard another snicker coming up. It sounded familiar, but he also didn’t know where exactly to place it.

‘’Cuetainjel,’’ said the ‘customer’ and Aziraphale narrowed his eyes.

‘’Um… how do you spell that?’’ he asked and rubbed his forehead. Strange surname, sounded… very exotic? He couldn’t tell, but it was certainly a foreign last name and- ‘’Sir?’’

‘’First name Eyema, last name Cuetainjel,’’ said the voice and Aziraphale had never been so confused before.

‘’ _ Eyema Cuetainjel?’’  _ asked Aziraphale and blinked a few times.

Then the giggles had gotten louder again and Aziraphale recognised it this time - Crowley! ‘’Yeah, you are!’’ he practically yelled into the phone, making Aziraphale want to slam the receiver down. Crowley literally had nothing better to do than to prank call him?!

‘’Crowley!’’ shrieked Aziraphale.

‘’One and only, at your service,’’ said the demon and started laughing. ‘’I-’’

‘’Do you literally have nothing better to do than to prank call my bookshop?!’’

‘’Hell sent me on a mission to annoy someone, so here I am,’’ said Crowley and the angel’s face darkened. He started grumbling, but then suddenly the phone started shaking and startled, Aziraphale jumped away from it. Not even a second later, Crowley quickly formed in front of him in flesh and stole a kiss from the angel. 

‘’Crowley, you-!’’ started Aziraphale, but then Crowley’s lips were pressed on top of his to stop him from talking and his eyes grew wide, cheeks reddening and he was just standing like that after Crowley pulled back a little bit and gently cupped his face, waggling his eyebrows, pressing another short kiss on top of his lips and Aziraphale’s flush darkened, his stomach made a little twist and his entire body heated up, making a step back and for a second he lost the gift of speaking - he still wasn’t used to kissing the demon after they’ve finally gotten together as the threat for the end of the world went away.

‘’Hello, my cute angel,’’ he said and waggled his eyebrows. ‘’Aren’t you glad to see me?’’ he then purred against his lips and Aziraphale looked down, gently shoved the demon away and pressed his hands against his warm cheeks. Crowley was smiling - it was so much fun playing with the angel like that - it never failed to amuse him to see Aziraphale all flustered and getting worked up over nothing. And prank calling his bookshop was just…  _ the perfect plan! _

‘’Crowley, what were you thinking? Do you take joy in seeing me suffer like this?!’’ started Aziraphale his little rant after he finally stopped flushing and he narrowed his eyes, because he was annoyed. It was like Crowley enjoyed seeing him suffer! Poor angel, truly! Crowley cleared his throat. 

‘’I should have known it was you,’’ grumbled Aziraphale, face red now with anger and Crowley grinned, but then nodded. It was true, he was kind of surprised the angel didn’t figure it out in the middle of his prank call. ‘’_It has pages and letters,’’ _repeated Aziraphale in a _Cro_wley voice. ‘’Ugh!’’

‘’You’re so cute when you’re angry,’’ mused Crowley and reached out to hug his ranting angel, but Aziraphale was having none of it and he just stepped back a few steps, making Crowley out and Aziraphale only rolled his eyes. 

‘’Acting cute isn’t going to save you this time, my dear,’’ grumbled Aziraphale. ‘’I mean, there I was, reading my book, hen you-’’ he said and then narrowed his eyes as Crowley started getting closer to the door.

‘’Now would you look at the time,’’ said Crowley.

‘’Don’t you run away from me, demon!’’ Crowley was no longer listening - Crowley was no longer his demon self, but he transformed into a serpent and was quickly slithering away from him. ‘’Get back here when I’m talking to you!’’ shrieked Aziraphale, but Crowley was no longer there as he was on the street and the angel rolled his eyes as he heard screams of random people as they were probably spooked by the giant snake running away from the bookshop.

‘’Hiss, hiss love,’’ grumbled Crowley and ran away from Aziraphale, who was massaging his temples… one of his these days, he was going to get Crowley back! But for the moment he’d enjoy the surprise kiss for a bit long - the touch of Crowley’s lips still lingered on top of his and he then flushed, grumbling. 

‘’I’m in love with an idiot.’’

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading - leave a comment if u liked it :)


End file.
